Reasons Why
by Amaratta
Summary: Take a look inside Cypher's mind during the moment he unplugged the Nebuchadnezzar's crews and see the reasons why he did what he did.


**Reasons Why**

by Amaratta

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Matrix or any of its fine characters.

**Note:** I took the dialogue from the movie, but I'm not sure if I got them right, so correct me if I'm wrong

Cypher was panting next to the first payphone he could find. It would have been much less troubled for him if he hadn't ditched his cell phone at the safe house to give Smith a signal like they had planned earlier.

"Operator."

Tank's voice flew along the phone line, and Cypher realized he didn't have enough time to smile an evil smile the way bad guys usually did when they did something bad. He then looked around as though he was afraid that some agents would suddenly appear before him.

Well, they were supposed to do that, _if_ they were stupider than they looked. At least, if they decided to cross him, they should wait until after he was no of longer any use to them – which was when they got a code to the Zion's mainframe. So they were supposed to know that as long as there was someone left on board of the Nebuchadnezzar, one of them would unplug Morpheus before he gave up the code. And that was the reason why the agent couldn't get rid of him just yet.

"Yeah, I need an exit fast."

"Cypher…"

Tank's voice sounded a little bit relieved. Yeah…just wait until those stupid freaks noticed who sold their dark tall and ridiculous leader to the agents.

"Yeah, there was an accident, goddamn car accident. All of a sudden, boom!" he explained. "Somebody up there still likes me."

"I've got cha."

"Get me outta here fast."

"Near Franklin and Eerie, an old TV repair shop."

"Right…"

Cypher rushed to his destination. After all the events, he still believed that he was at least one step ahead of those earth-savior wannabes. Cypher smiled grimly. Why bothered saving that rotten world that had no comforts? The clothes out there were old and rough as though they were some kind of sack that was pierced with some big holes to use as neck and sleeves. Every time he put on those clothes, he felt so itchy. Not to mention the ugly plugholes on his body. He couldn't help flinching every time he looked at himself in the mirror. And there was also this thing about women.

Women…

How long had it been since the last time he had a chance to be with to one?

Cypher sighed before he kicked the door of the TV repair shop with his full strength just to relieve his anger. Once he was in, a phone was already ringing.

Of course, he had to go back to the real world to finish his part of the deal no matter how much he despised it, so in return the Machine would take him back to the Matrix. Then he would be come rich and famous just like Smith had promised.

If he could trust that perverted agent…

Heck…anything is better than sticking in the city that that damn fool was so proud of at this point. What was it that they loved so much about this goddamn city anyway? He, for one, wouldn't call hiding in a hole under a dark sky a living. Besides the food there tasted like boiled garbage, not that he had actually tasted one, but he imagined if he had to eat some, garbage would taste just like that.

Cypher reached for the phone.

Suddenly, Cypher saw a dark color that was Dozer's face above him. A plug was pulled off from his neck. Judging from the way Dozer looked, the man was glad that at least one of the crews was safely returned…yeah, he would know soon that he shouldn't have been.

Cypher followed Dozer to meet Tank who was still contacting with the rest of the crews: Trinity, Neo, Switch and Apoc.

"Where are they?" Cypher asked as if he really cared.

"Making a call," Tank replied.

"Good."

Cypher almost sounded sarcastic…yes…good…very good. Even with all the news he gave them, those stupid agents only managed to capture the legendary Morpheus when what they should do was getting rid of the rest of the crews. But now they survived from the agents, he was forced to kill them himself.

Cypher took the chance that Tank was making contact with the crews and that Dozer was preparing to get them out to grab an electromagnetic gun he had hidden.

Shooting a man from behind wasn't a nature of a gentleman, but since when had he been one? If he knew he would lose in a fair fight, why bothered? All he needed to do was stabbing them in the back.

The winner is the winner. Does it really matter how he gained his victory?

So Cypher shot Tank in the back. However, the operator chair had taken half of the impact, so Tank was able to turn back.

Well, it's too late now, my friend. Cypher fired another shot just to make sure Tank did not survive.

The sound of the gunshots and of Tank's scream made Dozer ran to the scene…only to be another target for Cypher.

As Dozer fell to the ground, Cypher smelled roasted meat.

Cypher contently inhaled the scent into his lung as it reminded him of his future in the Matrix. A sweet smell and a good taste that even as a fake was still much better than the disgusting food he had to swallow down his throat everyday.

Ah…the future he would get soon after those four people were out of his way.

The phone rang, bringing Cypher back to reality. He pulled the headphone out of Tank's ear…It wasn't polite to make a lady wait, even though that said lady had left him hanging for years after years.

Perhaps this was his day…the day that Trinity would have to beg him. Oh, how he wished to see if her normal blank, if not rather cold, expression would fade when she had to plea for her life.

Now that he thought about her, he didn't understand why he even cared for that woman. After all, it would be much easier to fall for a lifeless jade statue than for Trinity because even if they were both cold and emotionless, the jade statue would never kick anyone in the chin.

Cypher smiled in satisfaction when he put on the headset and walked to the human upload area.

"Hello, Trinity," he greeted.

"Cypher?" Trinity said his name in her normal monotone that didn't fit to the situation. "Where's Tank?"

"You know, for a long time I thought I was in love with you."

Cypher began babbling while he ran his hands on Trinity's body in the real world… Yes, he once felt that way, and perhaps he still felt it now, but that such feeling would have changed somehow since it had been almost nine years since he was stupid enough to follow Morpheus to the real world where he met Trinity for the first time. Falling for her wasn't all that difficult then.

Sure nine years ago was different from today, because if he was just out of the Matrix and saw her now, he wouldn't even think about taking a second look at her. Back then, she was still young and attractive even with that blank expression of hers, but now? Boy, the blank expression was still there, but her youth certainly had left her. Time had withered her so much that if she hadn't worn that strapless leather outfit in the Matrix, he would have though she was a man – just like many people thought she was before they first met her.

Talking about outfit, he could imagine the way she looked when she was holding the phone in the Matrix. Oh…she had to be in a leather tank top, which was probably dusty right now, and leather pants that outlined her every curve.

As he had just split with her a moment earlier, he still couldn't get rid of his curiosity, the curiosity about why Trinity chose to put on strapless dress or a tank top whenever she entered the Matrix lately.

Since Cypher was no three-year-old, he could see the answer clearing in Trinity's eyes. Perhaps the only person who was foolish enough not to have any idea was the answer itself. And from the way Neo acted, he didn't just play stupid.

Oh…just forget the tops. The real question he wanted the answer was why she wore a skirt. Trinity should know that an agent could show up at any second and that wearing a skirt would make it less convenient to flee…but who knows, it might be comfortable…Cypher paused. If Trinity was willing to show, he was another man who's willing to watch. Then again, if she wanted to show, there was only one target – The stupid freaking One.

It was a real shame Trinity didn't climb down the wall while she was that short and tight leather skirt. It was beyond him when or where she had changed into the outfit she was wearing at the moment, but according to Trinity herself, that outfit was easily changed.

'_How are you gonna escape in that dress if those agents suddenly show up?' he remembered asking her in the car while they waited for Morpheus and Neo to return._

'_Nice, Cypher, asking for the agent when we're in the Matrix.'_

'_Come on, Trin, don't change the subject. How do you plan to escape, really?'_

'_If I can put it on, I can take it off,' she said dryly._

'_Okay, fine,' he shrugged. 'And about what the Oracle told you?'_

'_What she told me is my business.'_

'_You didn't say so to Neo.'_

'_Is your name Neo?'_

'_So you really like him,' Cypher commented. 'I wonder what she's gonna say to him.'_

Hell, he didn't even know why he should wonder. It wasn't like that old corpse knew everything like they said she did. At least, she knew nothing about how to bake a decent cookie. He should have asked Neo if he ate that fortune cookie so if he did, he could ask him whether the bitch improved her cooking skill. What the hell is that cookie made from anyway? Cement? That damn thing looked alright but it tasted like dirt. But hell, she was right about what she said. Eating her cookie actually made him feel better after he heard his own fortune. After all, he did forget everything she said, while still remembered how terrible her cookie was.

It was a good thing he didn't have to eat it every day like he had to eat Dozer's food… The Neb's crews were one last thing stood between him and a luxurious restaurant in the Matrix, between him and a tasty steak and mellow wine. It made his mouth water just to think about it.

Cypher shook the thoughts out of his head and focused back on Trinity's still body. It was strange how he could think of all those things in less than a second.

"I used to dream about you."

Yes…when he first joined the Nebuchadnezzar and met Trinity who had just joined it as well…Cypher wanted to sigh for million times when the picture of Trinity when they first met popped right into his mind.

Trinity had a very fair skin, so fair that it could dull the brightest light. Her eyes were more beautiful than those of a deer's, well, if you preferred her bluish green eyes over the deer's brown ones, of course.

Now he wished to see a look in those eyes when she knew he had betrayed her. It was true he could imagine the anger and the hatred in them, but it would be much better if he could actually witness it with his own eyes.

Trinity…it was a real pity he had to kill her as well.

He should have dealt with Smith to put both him and her back inside. He should have asked Smith to make her fall for him. He was sure it would be a good fun. But he knew her too well to let her live, knowing that as long as she was alive, she would make sure he was not. After all, Trinity had no reason to spare him once he had betrayed them. She wouldn't hesitate to end his life if she had a chance. It was a shame that once he had chosen this path, they could no longer live in the same word whether it was in or out of the Matrix.

Then again, it wasn't not like they had ever been in the same word.

Theoretically, they had, but practically, even after all those time they had been in the same ship, he had never been in her eyes. It seemed she always looked past him.

What was wrong with him? It was probably not because of the way he shaved his head because if that was the case, Trinity wouldn't even notice Morpheus. He once thought it was his goatee, but then she was much deeper than to judge anyone from a goatee. Or was it because she thought he looked like a bad guy in a movie or saw him as a sexual pervert, some kind of psychopath who liked to pierce a hole in a bathroom wall to watch naked women? Hell, if he was that kind of person, he had never made it so obvious that anyone could notice.

Or, had he?

Why should he care? Now her life was in his hand and he had decided that she had to die. Even though she was beautiful, actually the better term would be 'used to be beautiful' since her beauty was taken away from her by time and environment; her remained beauty wasn't enough to change his mind now. Why should he regret it when there were many more beautiful women waiting for him in the Matrix, and no one would be as cold as the Ice Queen that was Trinity?

"You're a beautiful woman, Trinity," he commented. "Too bad things have to turn out this way."

He didn't even have to wait to hear what Trinity had to answer. She should know by now what happened on board of the Neb. She had probably known that there was no way she could return to the world she loved so much.

Trinity wasn't a fool, and that was another quality he admired about her aside from her now fading beauty. He admired her intelligence until he realized she was too smart for his own good. But at least now she fell for his trick, and it wasn't just her. The rest of the Nebuchadnezzar's crews had fallen for it as well. He couldn't wait to unplug that son of a bitch Neo, but not yet. That would be too easy. He had to save him for now, just for the joy of killing.

"You killed them."

Trinity's voice came through the headset. Cypher smiled contently. Her voice told him that she was shocked yet not surprised. That was why he thought of her as clever and why Morpheus trusted her so much. To think, she was too smart to settle for just being a right hand to that prig.

To Cypher, the great Morpheus of Zion was nothing more than a smooth talker. His words were nothing but lie. He had never respected Morpheus and never contented with being a second or even third from that man. However, Morpheus was foolish enough to trust him enough to call him his left hand. Well, just to be fair, the man wasn't really that stupid. He was just too obsessed with finding The One that it destroyed him. Stupid, foolish, thickheaded moron! It was good he would be squeezed for Zion's mainframe code. Maybe it would make him a little smarter before he died.

Hearing Apoc and Switch exclaimed after Trinity finished her line, Cypher shook his head. That was probably why those two didn't make it farther than just being bodyguards, and it was too late for them to be anything else now.

"I'm tried, Trinity," he admitted. "I'm tired of this war, tired of fighting, tired of the ship, being cold, eating the same goddamn goo everyday."

Yes, it was the main reason, wasn't it? Eating was always important matter for him. He wouldn't deny being sophisticated, but he wasn't saying that he couldn't eat home made food. Yet, Zion's food was way too repulsive for him. To tell that truth, the Neb's floor was probably taste better than that sicken thing they called food.

He had survived the first two years on the Nebuchadnezzar with an eye candy that was Trinity, but after years had gone by, it was beyond Cypher to tell if Trinity had naturally aged or she was worn off by the way everyone was using her as an eye candy. However, that was all she ever was – an eye candy. She was no sweet to anybody's heart.

It was true that by seeing each other's face every day would have made them sick of each other, but Trinity was always an exception. Perhaps it was because he saw her as a challenge. After all, trying to win an Ice Queen over was a good game, and he had fallen deeper and harder each day. Perhaps it was because there was nothing else to distract him from this as Trinity was the only woman in the ship.

Until Switch was recruited, that was.

Yet, he had fallen too deep beyond saving when Switch joined them, and even if he hadn't already been obsessed with Trinity, Switch never made him admire her or respect her the way he did Trinity.

People could always object and say that Switch wasn't all that different from Trinity aside from their looked. Yet Cypher could always argue that Switch lacked the charm and the beauty Trinity possessed. Not to mention something about her keep making him thought she was a lesbian.

Well, let's just say she couldn't be Trinity's match.

Which was why Cypher believed Morpheus had a bad taste when it came to choosing a crewmember. Well, it wasn't fair to say that since he would have to choose people from their potential, not their look. But Cypher still insisted so after he saw Morpheus's ex.

Yes, Morpheus had bad judgment. So he could blame no one for the end of his dear Nebuchadnezzar but himself. It was his fault that he decided to pull Cypher out of the Matrix at the first place. Then again, Cypher was pathetic to ever believe in Morpheus's craps.

"But most of all I'm tried of that jackass and all this bullshit."

Cypher released his anger into the microphone before he left Trinity's chair just so he could jump on Morpheus's unconscious body instead.

"Surprise asshole? I bet you never saw this coming, did you? Gosh, I wish I could be there when they break you. I wish I could walk in just when it happens, so right then, you'd know it was me."

"You gave them Morpheus."

Cypher wished, more than anything, to see Trinity at that moment. He would be happy to see her express any emotion that wasn't coldness. For him, freezing hell over would be easier than to break Trinity's ice as he had always been an invisible man for her. Since she never gave a damn about what he did, it was quite an accomplishment that her ice melted even for a little.

"He lied to us, Trinity. He tricked us."

Grudge filled Cypher's eyes when he looked at the man who was once his leader. If he hadn't made a deal with Smith, Morpheus would have been the first to be unplugged, and Cypher would have been the happiest man alive.

"If you had told us the truth, we would have told you to shove the red pill right up your ass!"

"It's not true, Cypher. He set us free."

Even in this situation, she dared fighting with him. How he loved her spirit. She still fought for what she stood for, even when her fate was in his hand. It was sad they never stood for the same thing even until their very last moment.

It was true that opposite attract, but you couldn't combine things that were different in all angles. It just wouldn't work. So, perhaps now it was time to bid his last goodbye. He had wasted enough time hoping against hope. It was time he got rid of that fantasy and looked at reality.

Zion was living a dream. Even if there really was The One or a thousand more of that, there was no way they could free a man when that man didn't want a liberty. He could always find his way back to the cage…just like Cypher did.

There was no way it could be done. There was no way everyone would be willing to face the hard truth. Freeing all minds from the Machine was just another fantasy, another impossibility.

When will this get through their thick heads?

"Free…you call this free? All I do is what he tells me to do. If I have to choose between that and the Matrix, I choose the Matrix."

"The Matrix isn't real."

"I disagree, Trinity. I think the Matrix can be more real than this world."

Sure a woman like Trinity would want a proof, and he had more than one to prove his point. He would never be like Morpheus who he despised so much. He would never say something he had no hard evidence.

He would prove to her why he believed so.

So…who was going to be his first proof?

Having watched her for all these time, he knew exactly what kind of relationship Trinity had with the other three crews of the Neb. So he wouldn't be exaggerated if he said he knew exactly how to get Trinity's nerve.

He always thought of himself as a rational man and that there were reasons behind his every action. Yet, one thing about him managed to be irrational, and it was his feeling for Trinity.

"All I do is pull the plug here," he remarked as he touched a plug. "But there, you have to watch Apoc die."

Cypher pulled off the plug without thinking as he had already blamed everything on Morpheus. Since everything was related to each other, when one thing fell, it would cause another thing to fall as well, like dominos. Only in this case, it started with Morpheus, and it would end with the fall of the last human city.

In easy word, even when he was the one who betrayed them, it was Morpheus's name that would be written down in history as the man who sold Zion to the Machine.

Cypher heard a thud, so he could tell that now Apoc had ceased to exist.

"Welcome to the real world, honey."

"But you're out and you can't go back."

Cypher wanted to pick his ear so he could hear it clearer. Trinity…Trinity…Trinity… Finally even the iceberg could melt. Even when she wasn't that close to Apoc it seemed she would soon start begging him. Oh, Trinity…if she used this tone of voice with him much sooner, this wouldn't have to happen.

But it was too late to turn back now.

"Oh, no, that's what you think. They're gonna reinsert my body. I go back to sleep and when I wake up I won't remember a goddamn thing. By the way, if you have anything terribly important to say to Switch I suggest you say it now."

"Oh, no, please don't."

Cypher pulled the plug without listing to her plea.

"Too late."

Too late to say goodbye, too late to ask for his mercy…this was beyond saving.

"Goddamn you, Cypher!"

"Don't hate me, Trinity, I'm just a messenger," he said, approaching Neo's chair. "And right now, I'm gonna prove it to you. If Morpheus was right, then there's no way I can pull this plug. I mean, if Neo's The One, then there has to be some kind of miracle to stop me, right? I mean, how can he be The One if he's dead?"

Cypher looked at Neo still body and wondered why Morpheus believed that this man could be The One when no matter how he looked at him, Neo didn't look like a man who can be a savior to mankind.

"You never did answer me before if you believe in Morpheus's bullshit. All I want is a yes or no," he paused for a second. "Look in his eyes, his big pretty eyes, and tell me. Yes or no."

Trinity's silence made it difficult for him to breath. What was so good about Neo that Trinity wanted so much for a miracle to happen so he wouldn't have to die? What did he had that could melt her heart of ice? Why was it that Trinity liked about watching him? What did Neo have that he didn't? What was it that Trinity wanted and Neo could provide it to her that he couldn't?

Questions flew endlessly in Cypher's head until Trinity's voice finally hit his hearing sense. Her question was soft, yet strangely firm and certain that Cypher could hear it echo back and forth in his skull.

"Yes."

"NO!" he yelled in anguish. "I don't believe this!"

Cypher was too busy losing his mind to notice that in a small corner of the ship, Tank got up and held the electromagnetic gun that Cypher had earlier tossed.

Gritting his teeth, Tank growled, "Believe it or not, you piece of shit, you're still gonna burn!"

In his last moment, Cypher felt the impact of the gunshot that sent his body banging violently on the wall. The agony that was caused by the electricity that went deep through his skin and pierced through his internal organs was nothing to compare to the pain that was inflicted on him by the question why Trinity believed Neo was The One.

Before darkness consumed everything, a smirk formed on the corner of Cypher's mouth. At least, he had finally escaped from a shit that was the real world, even though he would have to die without knowing the reason why.

When his body fell onto the ground, Cypher took his last breath…He smelled roasted meat.


End file.
